


A Good Honest Man Series

by fhsa_archivist



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe, Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-11-09
Updated: 2004-11-09
Packaged: 2019-02-05 14:49:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12796737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: Ezra's past comes between his relationship with Vin. 1st in the series.





	1. Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

Why did he do that? Why had he let the man convince him it work out? He had never stayed the whole night with anyone! Ever! For this very reason. He could control and protect his heart as long as he kept his distance. But he hadn't been able to refuse Vin last night when he asked him to stay the night. 

 

Then, when he woke up to find a note on the pillow where Vin should have been this morning. 'How many times do I have to get hurt before I learn? God Standish you are an idiot.' 

When he had first become attracted to the sharpshooter he had gone out of his way to get the sexy tracker out of his system. He had gone out with several Vin look-alikes, but they did nothing for the growing need he had. The need to bury himself deep into the tracker and make love to him until he called his name over and over. 

 

Then Ezra had taken a chance one day and invited Vin to go with him to New York to meet his latest stepfather. The first night after having dinner with his mother and the newest mark, his stepfather, Vin had talked him into going ice skating. Vin had been patient with him as he learned and he had managed to stay on his feet most of the time. Then he fell, bringing Vin down on top of him. Ezra had felt the tracker's hard on and had seen the invitation in his eyes. That was all it took. When they reached the room he had barely gotten in the door when Vin latched onto his mouth. Finally tasting what his soul and body had been craving, had caused the gambler to become reckless. That night he had given Vin his heart. He had left after Vin had fallen asleep. 

 

That night had set the precedent for their relationship. They would have a wild passionate night, then, when Vin fell asleep he would go home and cry himself to sleep. He knew he had found his soulmate but he couldn't take the chance on it. Then last night, Vin had woken up as he was getting up to leave and one word broke his resolve. One damn English word. All Vin said was, "Please." There was so much behind that one word that Ezra couldn't make himself leave. A promise of love. Trust. Honesty. He just didn't have it in him to leave. So he ignored the warning bells going off in his head and he stayed. 

 

Ezra awoke with a start when he felt an arm tightening around his waist. Taking deep breaths and trying to calm his racing heart, he looked at his sleeping lover. Vin looked so vulnerable that it pierced his soul. Fighting off the tears he gently untangled himself from the sharpshooter. 

Ezra had just slipped his shirt on when he heard a rustling from the bed. Looking over he saw Vin watching him with a strange look and then his nightmare started. 

 

"Please." The word that held so much promise. 

 

Ezra closed his heart as he felt the tears escape his burning eyes. Ezra Standish did the only thing he could to keep the nightmare from coming true. He walked out the door never looking back. He felt his soul dying as he drove away. 

 

TBC in Connected


	2. Connected

Vin had seen the haunted look in his lovers eyes and saw the starkness that entered them when he asked Ezra to stay. He had seen the tears shimmering in them as he watched his Heart turn and walk out of his home and most likely his life. He felt his tears running freely down his face as he dropped back onto his pillow feeling the hole the gambler had just left in his heart. Ezra was scared he knew that in his heart but it hurt so much that the undercover agent could not let him into his heart. 

 

Ezra was constantly trying to walk away from him, but that was impossible. Ezra was bound to him, as he was bound to Ezra. He would never get very far when he tried to leave him. Ezra just didn't realize his soul had been marked with a love stronger and tougher than anything he had ever encountered. 

 

They were written in the star's that the gambler loved to watch so much. Just like the stars in the heavens, they would be together always. Vin knew it. He could feel the pull of their souls. He had fought against its pull at first, but had given in to the consuming need that was in his soul. It was too strong and he had never been the type to fight destiny. Just the kind to fight for it. He would fight for his lover and he would win in the end. Just as it had been written eons before. 

 

All he had to do was figure out what he was fighting first. Ezra's fear and uncertainty, which was bad enough, or a past ghost that caused that fear and uncertainty in him. 

His heart broken, Vin rolled over and let the tears flow as the pain consumed him. 

 

TBC in Siren's Call


	3. False Impressions

Ezra Standish had never had to be honest with anyone. At least, not like Vin was wanting him to be. Maybe that's one of the reasons he fell in love with Vin Tanner. Vin challenged his every belief and desire. 

 

"Vin I..." Ezra stopped to clear his throat of the lump that was making this confession very difficult for him. He rested his head back against the wall as he closed his eyes. 

"No, Ezra, I want to see your eyes. To know that you're telling me the truth. That your not hidin' anything from me. Please baby, I need this." 

 

Swallowing hard, Ezra looked the sharpshooter in the eye. His soul not shielded for once. He was laying it bare for his lover to tear apart if he so wished.

 

"I have only made the mistake of loving one other person in my life." Taking a deep breath he dove of the cliff of truth, "I told him I loved him and the next day there was a note on the pillow next to me, saying he had found a good, honest man to love him. Not some self indulgent bastard that was never around enough to make it worth while." 

 

Vin pulled Ezra close, holding the man he cherished above all else. He couldn't stand the pain he was causing his gambler but he wanted, no, he needed to know everything if he was going to fight for this love and for this man that held his soul. 

 

"Is that why you won't stay the whole night with me? Is this why you left the other night when I asked you to stay?" 

 

Ezra tightened his hold on the tracker, "That night when you asked me to stay, I had a nightmare. You asked me to stay and I did. The next morning there was a note next to me saying you had found a better man in Chris and were sorry that you had ever gotten involved with me." 

 

Vin pushed Ezra away from him as he got up. He was angry at this person who had hurt his gambler so much and angry at Ezra for not telling him sooner. 

 

"You've lumped me in with this bastard that hurt you! What did...." his words were cut off as both their beepers and cellphones went of at the same time. 

 

Both opened their phones barking into the receiver. As Ezra listened to Josiah, his heart breaking, he had been right about his lover. Taking one last look at his lover, he walked down to the elevator and punched the button for the parking garage. He would answer the siren's call after he helped his friends one last time. He just needed to make sure his lover came out of this unharmed one last time, then he would seek peace for his weary soul. 

 

Vin turned back around to find Ezra had left. The anger was suddenly replaced with a deep seated fear as he realized how Ezra took his anger, as confirmation.

 

Oh God!?! What had he done!?! 

 

Vin rushed to the elevator hoping to catch up with his lover. Not finding him there, he got into an elevator going to the garage. He hung his head in shame and despair when he saw he was too late to tell Ezra that he did love him and reassure his southerner that he was not leaving him for anyone or anything. Now it would have to wait until the bust was over. 

 

He smashed his fist into the wall furious with himself, he knew how Ezra took things wrong. Flexing his throbbing hand as he walked to his jeep and climbed in. If he hurried maybe he could talk to Ez before he went in. He had always hated for them to part on bad terms. He knew he couldn't handle it if something happened to one of them, leaving the other burdened with guilt. He had to see Ezra before this went down.


	4. Chance Meetings

He saw the bullet leave the barrel of the revolver. He watched as the bullet traveled towards his lover. He could hear his own voice scream out a warning to his unprotected love. He watched in morbid fascination as the bullet struck the man's head. The force of the impact throwing the man into the wall, the man slid lifelessly down the wall, crumbling onto the dirty warehouse floor. 

 

The loud anguished, "NOOOOOOO!?!," brought Chris to his friend's side. The black clad leader had always dreaded the moment when something like this would happen to the two lovers. Chris knew something was not right in the relationship for the last couple of days and hoped they had worked it out. Chris knew this was one of Tanner's greatest fears since he had started the relationship with the touchy southern undercover agent. 

 

Nathan took one look at the man, yelling, "We need the paramedics in here, NOW!?!," as he pushed the man out of the way to get to the injured agent. 

 

"It doesn't look to bad. Just a graze. The impact with the wall didn't help him any." The relief in the Team was palatable as Buck whooped and slapped JD's newsboy cap off his head. 

 

"Buck cut it out!" But there wasn't much heat behind the words. He was more distracted by his worry for both his brothers. He had tried to talk to Ezra today but the gambler just gave him a blank look and refused to say a word. JD watched as they put the injured man into the ambulance.

 

"I'll drive the jeep for you." Vin gave him a grateful look as he handed JD the keys. Then climbed into the ambulance with his injured lover. 

 

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) 

 

Vin paced as they waited to hear from the doctor on Ezra's diagnoses. His thoughts, eating and tearing away at his soul. How could he have been so stupid? He had let the feeling of betrayal turn into anger. He had almost welcomed the new feelings. He had been afraid he would never feel anything other than the fear and the soul dragging sorrow, that he would never get Ezra to love him. Now his worse fear had had happened. He had not been able to see Ezra before he had gone undercover into the sting and then the bust had gone bad. Never getting to tell him why he had gotten angry? Never getting to tell him how much he loved him and always would.

 

Every time he closed his eye's he could see the bullet strike Ezra and every time he felt the bullet tear through his soul leaving a jagged hole in the wake of its carnage. His heart broke knowing Ezra might die thinking he was like all the rest of his lovers. Then Nathan said Ezra would be fine. Destiny had granted him another chance and he would honor her gift, by making Ezra realize that he could not exist without him or vise versa. 

Vin was jerked out of his torturous thoughts by someone demanding to know how Agent Standish was. The Team turned as one to see who was wanting to know about their friend. What they saw sent them reeling. 

 

Vin was beyond shock. The betrayal he had felt before was nothing compared to what he felt now. Then it was replaced by a thunderous murderous rage. This was the man that had hurt his lover. This was the man that had made it impossible for Ezra to love him. This is the man he would take his revenge on. He'd seen his picture with Ezra's things. 

 

Chris placed a restraining hand on the enraged tracker. Then an authoritative voice, "Can we help you?" 

 

"Hope so. My name is Dakota Paske I'm an old friend of agent Standish's. I was in town looking for him and heard he was injured. How is he? Is he all right?" 

 

The doctor came in at that moment, "You gentlemen waiting on Agent Standish?" 

 

"Yes, I'm agent Larabee." 

 

"Dr. Stanton. Agent Standish is in a coma. The bullet grazed his head but the force that he hit the wall with, caused his brain to swell. We have given him anti-inflammatory and the coma that is allowing him to rest, will hopefully be what his brain needs to recover from the trauma he has suffered." 

 

"May we see him?" 

 

"He is in ICU. I know how important it is for coma patients to have loved ones around. So I'll allow one of you to stay with him at all times. Talk to him. Let him know you're here. I'll let you decided who goes in first." 

 

They all went to the ICU floor. The others all went to the waiting room as Vin started to walk to Ezra's room. They all stopped dead in their tracks as they realized Dakota Paske was also walking to Ezra's room. 

 

Vin felt the unwelcome presence behind him. He turned and hit the unsuspecting man in the jaw. Then continued into Ezra's room without a word or looking back. 

 

Dakota rubbed his jaw and took the proffered hand by the giant man in front of him. "Son, I would suggest you stay away from that man and very far away from Ezra." 

 

"I will not. Ezra and I go way back. I have no intentions of letting that man get between Ezra and I. I came here to reconcile our relationship and I will get Ezra back. You best keep that man away from me or else I will bring charges against him and you. I'll come back tonight and see Ezra and I don't want to see any of you." 

 

With that Dakota left the men. He had not seen the hostile threatening looks he was getting from the dangerous men or he would never had turned his back on them. He would never know how close to death he had been that day or the days that lay ahead.

 

"Who's going to be the one to tell Vin about that bastards intentions of trying to take Ez from him?" Buck didn't want to be around when Vin found out, much less be the idiot that told him about it. 

 

Chris sighed, "I'll do it. Let's give him a couple of hours before we drop the bombshell on him. C'mon let's go get some dinner or something. Let them be alone for a while." Chris was dreading having to tell Vin about this on top of everything else. He wasn't sure if the sharpshooter could handle this, or the Team, for that matter. 

 

TBC in The Disreguard of Timekeeping


	5. The Disreguard of Timekeeping

Often do the spirits 

Of great events stride on before the events, 

And in to-day already walks to-morrow. 

Act v. Sc. 1. ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge. 1772-1834

 

~*~*~*~*~*

 

In some cultures there is a capability to walk outside one's self. A spirit walk or dreamscape, of sorts. To permeate and transcend the three states of consciousness. In Hinduism it's call 'turiya'. To be an observer of what is happening around you and about you. To learn what is foreordained before it happens is a gift and curse. To have the insight to use the gift wisely and the sense of honor to accept the curse in the form in which it was given. Being the means to choose what needs to be changed and the courage to accept what cannot be changed. He would thankfully accept and make ample use of the Fate's gifts. In this state between wakefulness and death, he had glimpse of all that his heart desired. Everything he could ever need or want. He had seen the depth of Vin's love.

 

His lover had been right. They were and always would be, destined to be apart of each other's soul. They were connected, bonded and linked to each other's spirit. They were one. 

 

He knew he needed to tell Vin everything he had learned about himself and their future, but first he had to change what he had seen in his spirit walk. He feared for his lover. He had watched as his old lover showed up and said that he wanted to have a relationship with him again. Vin had left before he had been able to give Dakota Paske a negative answer. Telling Dakota that he found everything he ever needed or wanted in Vin Tanner. That he had no interest in him or having another dysfunctional relationship with him again. 

 

Then he was there as Vin grabbed Dakota from behind, putting a hand over the struggling man's mouth effectively silencing the startled cry that tore through his throat. He caught the wicked gleam of the knife before it entered Dakota's heart over and over again. Ezra watched as the life drained out of his blue eye's much in the same way the life giving blood drained out of his body, washing the alley and Vin in its crimson heat.

 

He was there during the trial as they convicted Vin of murder and he was in the room when they strapped Vin to the table. Watching as the needle entered his lover's arm. Then, he felt a soul searing heartache as he watched Vin Tanner die for the murder of his ex-lover Dakota Paske. His soulmate had murdered someone and died for it. It had all been for nothing. Ezra had never given Vin any reason to think he would choose him over his ex-lover. He was to blame for this out come. 

 

Ezra Standish was going to take this gift of knowledge that the Fate's had granted him to save his lover's soul, his life and their love. He felt a pull at his being, a feeling of almost panic and desperation to be back with in himself. He fought the fog that surrounded him, almost suffocating him in its thickness. He did not stop as the pain overwhelmed all his senses. He fought the heaviness that was trying to prevent him from making eye contact with the other half of his soul. At last, he opened his eyes to the smiling indigo harbor that were Vin's eye's. 

 

"I've missed you, Ez." Vin said as he gently held Ezra's head up allowing him to drink the pure clear water. Ezra allowed the liquid paradise flow over his tongue and down his throat. 

 

He grabbed Vin's arm as he moved away, the desperation and terror clearly showing in his voice and his emerald green eye's conveying the same message. "Vin, please don't leave me. Ever. I need you now and forever. I love you more than life itself. Please, if you remember nothing else, remember that I need the other half of my soul more than I have ever needed anything else. I cannot survive without you. Ever." 

 

Vin was surprised by the depth of feeling and shocked by his lover's confession. Cupping his lover face, letting his feelings show in his passion darkened eye's, he took the gambler's mouth in gentle kiss. Slowly possessing the mouth of the one he would love forever. 

 

"I love ya Ez. Always have. Always will." Framing the much loved face, "What's wrong Ezra, do I need to get the doctor? What has you so afraid?" Vin could feel the tremors and see the fear shining in the emerald pools. 

 

"Vin promise me that you will always know that I love you. That you'll never let anything or anyone, separate or take you away from me. Please, I need you to promise me, Vin." 

 

Seeing how important this was to his gambler, "I give you my word as a Tanner that nothing can separate us or take me away from you. I'll die before I let someone take you away from me." 

 

"NO!?! Vin, I need you to live. I'll die without you." 

 

"Calm down Ezra. I promise nothing will come between us, all right?" 

 

With drooping eye's, "Don't leave me alone Vin. I'm afraid of what will happen while I'm asleep. Don't leave my side. Please?" 

 

"Won't leave you ever Ez. Love ya too much. I'll be here the whole time you're asleep and when you wake up. I promise. Now close your eyes and go to sleep." 

 

With that Ezra fell into a healing sleep. He knew Vin would never break his promise to him. He was too honorable for that. His lover was safe and that was the only thing that mattered right now. He would tell Vin everything when he woke up. 

 

TBC in Paradox of Dreams


	6. Paradox of Dreams

He had seen the fear in his lover's eyes. He watched as the stark naked terror dissipated in the deep emerald pools as he made his promise to never leave the southerner. There had been no barriers between them for once. No ghost standing in the way of his heart's desire. Even if the ghost had taken flesh in form. It really didn't matter, for he now knew that his soulmate had accepted their destiny together.

 

Vin watched warily as the now fleshy ghost walked into Ezra's hospital room. Chris had told him that Dakota Paske didn't want him anywhere near Ezra, but he couldn't give a flyin' fuck what the asshole, that hurt his gambler, wanted. He had made promise to Ezra and come Hell or high water he would never break it.

 

"I want you out of here and away from Ezra." Dakota demanded in a low growl. 

Vin held the sleeping conman's hand and just stared at the interloper, making no move to leave. He would defend this special love from any threat with his life.

 

"Get out or I'll call security." Vin's smirk only seemed to provoke the man further. "This is your last chance to leave on your own." 

 

Vin watched as Paske stalked towards him and would have reacted to the hand that grabbed his arm but the hand that he held tightened around his fingers almost a vise grip in it's intensity. Vin looked into frightened, panicked filled eyes of his lover. In his concern to reassure Ezra that he was not leaving him, he ignored his primal instinct for survival and turned his back on his mortal adversary. The tracker never saw the arm raise above his head, holding a gun. He only had time to register surprise, then the pain as he slid into unconsciousness. 

 

Ezra had heard his old lover threatening Vin. With fear that the dreamscape was about to coming true, he tried to pull himself out of Morphus's sweet embrace. Tightening his hold on Vin's hand for strength, he dragged his weighted eyelids open to a horrifying scene being played out in front of him. He had changed the outcome of his spirit walk and saved Vin from himself, but had never thought that in changing the outcome that he would place his beloved Texan into a more deadly and vulnerable position. 

 

TBC in Dishonorable Impersonation


	7. Dishonorable Impersonation

Why had he not seen it? Was he blind? When he had fallen for that tall lanky, long haired man he had never realized the depth of evil that possessed his soul. It had never shone in the ice blue eyes. Maybe he had seen it, but in his desperation for contact and love of another he had chosen to ignore it. In allowing the ignorance to continue he may have caused the death of his soulmate. 

 

He had watched, thinking Dakota was about to shoot Vin, not being able to react fast enough to save his tracker, only to see him striking his lover in the head with the gun. His relief was short lived when he saw that his ex-lover was indeed about to shoot his downed tracker. Finding strength in his weakened body he put himself between Vin and the gun. He would allow no harm to come to his lover while he still had a breath in his body. 

 

"I thought you didn't like guns Dakota? Wasn't that one of your complaints about me?"

 

"Well, you see, Lover in my business it's not wise to allow your target to be armed while you remain unarmed. It really was quite vexing that with my charms, I could never get you to part with your gun. Tsk, tsk. Why do you looked so shocked Dear One?" 

 

Ezra flinched at the endearments. He had always hated 'dear one' it sounded too much like something his mother would call him rather than a lover. 

 

"What business? Why do this?" He was confused by his ex-lovers words but still stood protecting Vin from any harm. He slowly backed up until he could feel his tracker under his hand. He was afraid Vin would come to and be hurt. 

 

"I was hired to kill you. Instead, I slept with you, fell in love and then I just couldn't kill you. So I left instead, hoping you would be devastated by my leaving you that you would forget about my employer." 

 

"'So there was never anyone else?" His mind was reeling at the how stupid he truly was. How did he ever think he loved this man? 

 

"Oh, there was someone else. He was my partner. I see you had no problem replacing me." Dakota's smile was feral, "I find it rather satisfying that my replacement resembles me." 

 

The sickening smile made his skin crawl. "Mr. Tanner holds no resemblance to you whatsoever. He has generous heart, a beautiful soul and the one thing you never had."

 

"What would that be Dear One?" 

 

"My undying love and devotion." 

 

"You said the same thing to me." 

 

"Wrong Dakota. I told you I cared for you a great deal. I never said I loved you. Sure, I'm guilty of saying something that I did not mean just to keep you with me. But I never said the words 'I love you'. Those words are too important. To say them untrue would be heresy." 

 

Ezra felt Vin stir under his hand. He applied pressure hoping Vin would understand and keep still. 

 

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) 

 

Vin slowly climbed out of the fog that wrapped his mind and valiantly tried to ignore the blinding pain bouncing around in his skull. Barely stopping a groan of pain as his survival instincts kicked in. He knew something was wrong. He could feel it in the depth of soul. He heard and followed the honey smooth words of his lover as he tried to make sense of everything. He remained motionless as he listened to Ezra and Dakota. Trying to come up with a plan that wouldn't get anyone hurt. Well, that wasn't true. As long as Ezra didn't get hurt but Dakota was dead. He was going to kill the man as slowly and as painfully as possible. 

 

His vindictive thoughts were interrupted when he heard Dakota's remark on there resemblance. His heart soared as he listened to Ezra disagree with Dakota and describe the way he saw him. He would never have known his conman felt that way about him. They were going to have a long talk when this was over and get something's straitened out. As he moved, Ezra applied pressure to his neck. It warmed his heart knowing Ezra wanted to protect him. He would wait and bide his time for now, but the man was dead the first chance that came up. 

 

TBC in The Difference of Time


	8. The Difference of Time

He had always heard a person facing death sees their life flash before their eyes. Seeing everything they had done up until the point of near death. He lived with the threat of death on a daily bases. He was on first name bases with the grim reaper, himself. Why should this time be any different? How many times had he stood in front of a gun wondering if this was going to be his last thought? Would this be his last breath that he took? Would he never again see Vin in the throws of passion? Would he never have the chance to tell Vin how much he truly loved him? 

 

No, this time it was different, he had told Vin he loved him and how much he needed him. He regretted to the depth of his soul, that it had taken Dakota Paske coming back to make him realize what a treasure he truly had in Vin, his soulmate. The one person above all others that loved him no matter what mistakes he had made in his past or might make in his future. The one person that would still love him when he grew old. The siren no longer called to his over burdened soul, urging him to end the pain for all eternity. He finally found the peace he had been searching for. He had found his soulmate. 

 

"What makes you so sure he'll love you Ezra? Why should he? I'm sure he could find a good honest man to love and we both know that isn't you." Dakota grinned maliciously when he saw his barb had hit its mark. 

 

Ezra flinched at the vicious reminder that he hadn't been good enough for Dakota. He felt his tracker tensing under his hand. He prayed Vin would do nothing to draw attention to himself. Ezra increased the pressure on Vin's neck as he felt his tracker moving to rise but Vin would have none of that. He knew Ezra was trying to protect him but all reasonable thought left him as he heard his nemesis tell his lover that he wasn't 'a good honest man'. He was going to make the asshole regret he ever said those words to Ezra. 

 

"I do LOVE a good honest man, you Bastard!?!" Vin rose like an avenging angel behind Ezra. He put a comforting and possessive hand on Ezra's shoulder. Vin could feel his smaller mate's body trembling under his hand. Giving Ezra reassuring squeeze as he started to step around Ezra. 

 

"Yeah? You really believe that? The fact we look alike doesn't bother you in the least?" Chuckling, Dakota was really enjoying the pain he was causing his old lover and his replacement. "I find that hard to believe. Surly you would rather have someone who can be trusted, reliable and honest with you? What could you possibly see in him? Well, besides being a good fuck, I mean." Dakota leveled the gun at Vin's chest as he took a threatening step towards him, "Ah..ah, stay where you are." When he was sure Vin was going to stay where he was, Dakota leaned against the wall "Now, tell me what you see in him?" 

 

Vin knew what Dakota was trying to do but maybe he could use it against him, "No. I'm not going to tell YOU what I see in Ezra," he turned a loving sapphire gaze to met his lover's worried emerald eyes, softening his voice, "But I will tell Ezra." 

"Oh, please, do enlighten us." Dakota sneered. 

 

Vin continued as though Dakota had said nothing, putting all of his love and passion into his voice and his eyes conveying the same. "What I see, is a man that has been hurt so many times that he no longer trusts himself," Vin put his hand over Ezra's heart, "In here. He hides his heart behind a wall and presents a mask of indifference to the world. But slowly, one by one, brick by brick I have reached the real man behind that wall. A man that is caring. A man that is capable of so much love. A man that deserves to be loved. A man that needs to be told that he is a good honest man and that no one could ever replace him in my heart. That's what I see." Vin raised his hands to frame his lover's face, his thumbs gently brushing away the tears, "I love ya Ez. For now and always. You're a good honest man Ezra and I wouldn't want you any other way." 

 

"Give me a break. That was the biggest load of shit I've heard." Dakota snorted disgustedly. 

 

Vin had forgotten they had an audience and he had reached the end of his tolerance with the walking corpse. Giving Ezra a soft, quick kiss, "I love you now and always." He looked into his lover's eyes not only seeing the fear but sensing it on a deeper level but needing to neutralize the threat against his mate was foremost in his mind. 

Vin started to turn around to face the enemy when Ezra grabbed his hand and in whispered desperation, "No, Vin remember you promised that you would never leave me and allow nothing to ever take you away from me." 

 

Laying his hand over Ezra's, he meet the intense emerald gaze with what he hoped was a reassuring one, "And nothing will. I would never break my promise to ya but we need to settle this. Now." He quickly turned away from Ezra, facing the one who had nearly destroyed his conman and that now wanted him dead. 

 

"So, Paske, are you such a coward that you have to hide behind a gun? Or will you face me one on one like a real man?" 

 

Ezra's mind was swimming. He couldn't believe what Vin had said but he had seen the sincerity and love in his tracker's beautiful blue eyes. Now as he watched Vin confront Dakota, his heart twisted in fear. In his still weakened condition he knew he wouldn't be able to help Vin or protect him. Looking around he noticed that Vin blocked Dakota's view of him. Catching sight of the phone that was with in reach. He took it off the hook, laying it on the table and dialed Chris's cell number. He prayed that Chris would hurry before Vin was hurt. 

 

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

 

Chris Larabee had just entered the hospital on his way to check on Ezra. He hadn't heard from Vin all day, so, he wasn't real worried. As he was about to enter the elevator his cell phone rang, earning him a few glares from nurses that all pointed to the sign that said 'no cell phones allowed in the hospital'. He glared back but it didn't seem to faze them in the least. Sighing, he went back outside to answer the phone.

 

"Larabee." 

 

When he got no response he was about to hang up when he heard Vin's voice. It sounded far away and he sounded angry. Thinking something was wrong with Ezra, Chris ran to the stairs not having the time to wait for an elevator, if Vin's anger was any indication. He flew up the three flights of stairs, flinging the stairwell door open so hard that it bounced off the wall. He slowed down as he neared Ezra's room stopping for a moment to catch his breath before he entered the room. He sighed when he heard what sounded like a fight coming from Ezra's room. He had thought Vin had maybe disagreed with the doctor and it had escalated from there but he was totally unprepared for the scene being played out before him.

 

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

 

Laughing Dakota shook his head, "What makes you so sure that I'm not man enough to take you? I took Ezra, didn't I?" His laughter bordered on maniacal. "Did he tell you about the first time I took him? Did he tell you that he was a virgin? Did he tell you he didn't want me to take him?" 

 

Vin's temper rose to a dangerous level, "You raped him?" The disbelief showed on his face, "I thought you said you loved with him? How could you do that to someone you love?" Vin's heart broke at the anguished gasp coming from the man behind him. 

Dakota leered and his grin grew wider, "I did fall in love with him or at least with his body. I knew of his insecurities and used them to keep him with me until I could decide if I wanted to kill him or not. Then he said he loved me and I knew then, that I couldn't kill him but if I was not going to fulfill my contract then I had to at least take him to make it worth my while." 

 

Ezra had been quiet as he listened to Dakota telling Vin about the last night they had been together. His eyes closing as he realized the depth of betrayal he felt. Hot tears coursing down his cheeks at what he knew would be Vin's reaction to his shameful secret. In the end he had still lost everything. He had lost soul and in the end the siren's call had won. 

 

His anger was white-hot as the feeling of loss became too great for him in his weakened emotional state. His anger took on a primitive form as the molten fire rushed through his veins giving him the strength he would need to kill. 

 

Both men were surprised when Ezra came out from behind Vin and started to slowly walk towards Dakota. Vin tried to pull Ezra back behind him so he could protect his lover but his hand only grasped at the air where his lover had been seconds before. 

"Ezra, no." His heart froze as he watched his conman stop in front of the gun. 

"Why did you change your mind about killing me? Why come back now?" Ezra still had enough presence of mind to know he had to play Dakota's game but only until he could find the man's weakness and take the gun from him. 

 

"Still trying to protect your white knight, Dear One? You can't, you know? Protect him that is." Dakota's leer made his flesh crawl, as he realized what he was going to do to distract him. 

 

"He is going to die and I am going to take you with me for one last, good time. Then you will die. As for why now, well, you started to investigate the man who hired me to kill you in the first place. He was not happy to see you were still alive and has made it very clear it's you or me and I chose me." 

 

Dropping his voice into a seductive whisper, hoping Vin couldn't hear what he was saying, "Then kill him so we can go. I have missed you and need to feel you inside of me." The words made him sick and he had to concentrate not to let his revulsion for the man before him show in his voice or his features. 

 

A movement near the door caught his attention and he saw Chris there. He kept his eyes on Dakota never giving Chris away. He watched as Dakota brought his gun up, aiming at his heart. 

 

"You shouldn't lie to me Ezra. It's not a smart thing to do. You just want to save your lover and it isn't going to happen, Dear One." 

 

Vin had seen Chris enter the room and started to inch his way closer to Ezra. He needed to be close so he could pull Ezra out of harms way when Chris made his move. Vin had to crouch down some so he stayed out of Dakota's line of sight as he crept closer to Ezra. He looked to see if Chris was ready, at the black clad leader's nod, Vin tackled Ezra out of the way as Chris grabbed for Dakota's gun arm jerking up as it went off. The bullet shattered the window sending tiny rainbow sparkles of glass raining down over the men. Dakota stepped back into Chris using his body as leverage to flip the blond agent over his back. As soon as Chris was on the floor Dakota kicked him in the side, leaving him gasping for air and unable to protect himself as he was kicked again. 

 

After tackling Ezra, the tracker shielded him with his body. He didn't want anything more to cause his gambler pain. He felt his lover's body tense at the sound of gunfire and then he felt the tiny shards of glass slicing and cutting into his exposed skin. He turned to see if Chris had Dakota subdued and watched as the man viciously kicked Chris over and over again. He had reached the end of his conscious tolerance, allowing a more primitive warrior to emerge out of the ashes of what had once been his self-control. 

 

He launched himself at his look alike, knocking him to ground. Vin straddled his opponent, punching him in the jaw. Pulling himself back when Dakota took a blind swing at him, pulling his fist back and putting all his hate for this man into one punch. He heard a loud satisfying crack as Dakota's head hit the hard tiled floor. Hauling the dazed man up by his shirt front Vin pushed him into the wall face first. As he reached behind his back to pull his handcuffs out he glanced over to see how Ezra was doing. Dakota seeing his chance, rammed his elbow into the side of Vin's head causing him to stagger back under the force of the blow. Regaining his balance quickly, Vin pivoted on his right foot bringing his left leg around catching Dakota in the face, sending the startled man out the broken window. Rushing to the window Vin saw Dakota hanging onto the window ledge. 

 

"HELP ME!?! I'M SLIPPING!?!" he pleaded desperately, not wanting to die, at least not without taking his replacement with him.

 

Vin knew he couldn't let the despicable bastard die, it went against his belief to allow anyone die without at least a fair trial. Reaching down he grabbed one of Dakota's arms in a steel grip. Concentrating solely on pulling the man up he didn't notice the knife coming towards him until a searing path of pain ripped through his upper arm. Seeing the knife aimed at his vulnerable neck, he jerk back away from the strike, letting go of the suicidal man, allowing him fall to his death.

 

Crossing his arms over the windowsill he leaned down resting his head there for a moment as he caught his breath. He didn't regret that his nemesis had died, in fact he couldn't have been happier about it. He did regret the pain that the bastard managed to inflict on his vulnerable lover. 

 

Vin turned to see the doctor's checking an unconscious Ezra for anymore injuries and people cleaning up the glass. Seeing Chris, he went and stood next to his closest friend and leader. He needed to know what was going on with Ezra. 

 

"Chris, what's wrong with Ez?" 

 

"He wouldn't let them check him because he was too worried about you. So the doctor gave him something to knock him out." Putting a comforting hand on Vin's shoulder he stopped as he felt the sticky wetness on his hand. Seeing blood and how pale Vin was, Chris called a doctor over, catching him as he started to collapse. 

 

TBC in Cleansing the Air


	9. Cleansing the Air

He lay on his side watching his lover sleep. How could he have ever doubted this man's love? How could he have ever thought that what Dakota bragged about doing to him would make a difference with Vin? Hell, how did he ever delude himself into thinking he was in love with that Bastard Dakota? 

 

When he had come to in the hospital, Vin had been right there with him. Holding him. Not caring what anyone thought about two men sharing the same bed, holding each other. He had been relieved to find that Vin would be all right despite the gash in his shoulder and a couple dozen little cuts from the glass. He could not find it within himself to feel anything but happiness that Dakota had met his demise and was out of his life forever. Well, not forever, yet. Vin had said they had some things to talk out and that's what he was dreading. He didn't want to have to remember any part of his relationship with Dakota. He wanted to put it in the safe in the back of his mind and lock it up. Not only did he want to throw away the key, he wanted to brick it up with no possible way for any feelings or memories to seep out and contaminate his life, again. 

 

Sighing Ezra left the bed and went to stand at the window. He watched the brilliant colors interweaving with the receding starlight sky. He knew in his heart that he needed this cleansing ritual with Vin in order to make their relationship stronger, but it didn't mean he had to look forward to it. He rested his head against the cool glass pane. If only he could go back and erase everything that had happened between him and Dakota. What had he ever seen in him? Had he really been so desperate for love at the time that he had given up his pride for it? How could he have been so delusional as to have compared Vin to that monster? 

 

Lady Luck had indeed been very good to him. She must have known that he needed someone that could tolerate him at his worst. Someone that would love him unconditionally. Someone who knew him so well that it terrified him sometimes. God, he had wasted so much time with Vin. 

 

He felt the presence behind him before he felt the warm arms slip around his waist, pulling him flush with his lover's equally warm body.

 

"Are you ready to talk about it?"

 

TBC in Confidence Returned


	10. Confidence Returned

"Are you ready to talk about it?" 

 

Ezra sighed. His soft spoken Texan had an uncanny way of knowing what he was thinking. It spooked him sometimes to have someone know him so well and still love him. But it was something he would not, nor could not live without. 

 

"I would rather not and say we did." 

 

Turning he gave Vin a hopeful look but seeing the stubborn set of his lover's jaw, he knew he would answer Vin's questions and hold nothing back from his beloved sharpshooter. Laying his head on Vin's chest, he tightened his hold on his lover, almost afraid if he let go of Vin he would disappear. A ghost of his desperate and grasping overactive imagination. 

 

Vin kissed the top of soft chestnut curls, snuggling his lover closer to his heart. He was almost afraid to hear what Ezra was going to say but he needed to know Ezra loved him enough to make this commitment. 

 

"You can tell me anything Ez. I'm not here to judge ya. Just ta love ya. Tell me how you met... him." 

 

The last being ground out as he thought about the Bastard that had hurt his Ezra. He would love nothing more than to kill the Bastard again!?! He tightened his arms around the man that held not only his heart but his future in his hands. 

 

Ezra, feeling the arms tighten, crushing the air out him, ran his hands gently up and down his tense, protective lover's back. Soothing the tension out of the sleek muscles. If he was going to do this he wanted a relaxed Vin to talk to. Pulling out of Vin arms, he took his lover's hand, leading him into the living room. 

 

"If I am to do this, then we need to be comfortable, at the very least." 

 

TBC in A Time for Healing


	11. A Time for Healing

He was never good at being honest. All his life he had to survive by the lies he made others believe. Being deceptive about who and what he is was a state of being for him. Not to mention he liked it. But to be honest about who and what he really was and to open himself up to his lover was a whole other kettle of fish, so to speak. What if Vin didn't like what he had to say? What if Vin did not like the real Ezra? He had opened up to only one other person and look where that had gotten him. 

Ezra sat sideways, facing Vin on the couch, but he never broke contact with his tracker. He needed the quiet reassurances Vin gave him. The soft caresses, the gentle kisses, all went a long way in calming his skittishness. 

 

"I was working on this expansive drug case at the time. Cauldron is the top drug czar in Atlanta. How he did so well in a state full of rednecks is beyond me." Ezra stared down at their joined hands and smirked, then he looked up letting all his emotions show. "At the time, I was sitting in bars hoping to make contact with him. One night I was leaving after another unsuccessful night when I was jumped from behind and pulled into the alley. They were beating me pretty bad at the time. I could hardly do anything against the four of them. Then out of nowhere I hear a voice. At the time, I had thought it was the deadliest I'd ever heard, until I met Mr. Larabee that is. The voice told them to let me go, and they did. When they had backed away from me, I saw why. He had a handgun in each hand, but it was his eyes that concerned me. His eyes were icy and so eerily dead. I figured it was just from the situation. Later on I would catch him looking at me with this expression of detached hatred." He shivered as he tried to pull away from the memory that rapidly untwisted itself into the horror of reality that the last night with Dakota had been. 

 

He couldn't do this again! Not again. He wouldn't survive, wouldn't want to survive, the loss this time. He had to get away from the memories and the arms that were like bands of steel holding him in the nightmare he had long denied. Then his salvation came in the form of a soft Texas drawl, effectively pulling him from the helpless terror he was reliving. 

 

"No Ezra! No more runnin' from this or anything else. We deal with it now!" Vin whispered fiercely as he pulled his struggling Southerner flush with his body. His voice softened as his lover calmed, melting into his protective embrace "We, that's you and me, Ez. We do this together. You're not alone anymore. I love you, Ezra." 

 

Ezra let Vin's voice flow through him as it washed the memories away. It wasn't until he heard the "I love you" that he suddenly understood that he had to tell Vin the truth if he truly wanted to be free of the pain Dakota caused him. If Vin loved him he would still love him even after he told him what had happened. Since he knew without a doubt that Vin loved him, it should be easier for him, but the words stuck in his throat much like, he would assume, eating crow would. To distract him for a moment so he had time to gather his thoughts, he rose up enough to take Vin's mouth in a hard, demanding kiss until Vin opened up to him. Then he gentled it rubbing his tongue against his tracker's, dueling for dominance, before he pulled away breathing just as heavily as Vin. 

 

He rested his head on his lover's shoulder as he started his tale, from that first night up until the last night he spent with Dakota. He wasn't sure he could tell him it all but he had to at least try. So he proceeded to tell him that he came home early that night to Dakota in a good mood, which was strange in itself during those last few weeks, but he had brushed it aside figuring he would just enjoy it. Dakota had a drink ready for him as he fixed dinner but that was the last thing he remembered until he woke up tied to the bed face down. He felt Vin's hold tighten around him as his voice faltered. He couldn't go on, he just couldn't as the tears streamed down his face. 

 

Vin held the trembling man closer, feeling the tears against his chest; he felt his own coursing down his face wishing he could kill the bastard all over again. He rubbed soothing circles on Ezra's back, his heart breaking for him. "You don't have to go on, Ez, if you don't want to." 

 

Ezra wished it was that simple but, as with all things in his life, this was not to be one of them. 

 

"Yes, I do. He'll always be there if I don't, and he has no place here between us any longer." 

 

Ezra took a steadying breath trying for just this once to bring the memories forward instead of pushing them behind his wall with all the other painful memories. "When I woke up I started screaming for Dakota, thinking something had happened to him also, but he came to stand next to me." 

 

Past - Last night with Dakota 

 

Still groggy from whatever was in his drink, he looked up at his lover, his eyes trying to focus. "Dakota, get out of here while you can and go for help. I don't know what is about to happen but I don't want your blood on my conscience." When the blurry silhouette of his lover stood there, neither helping nor running for help, and laughing, the haze that held his mind slowly dissipated giving way to understanding. Dakota was behind it. He started to struggle, pulling at the rope that bound him to the bed realizing just how bad things were about to get. He had never let Dakota take him, never trusted him enough. It would seem his instincts, even deadened by desperation and loneliness, were still on target. 

 

"Dear One, it's about time you awoke for the festivities. I was about to begin without you." He put a condom and KY on the bedside table. "I know how important it is for you to be safe." 

 

Dakota grinned evilly as he started to strip his clothes off, slowly as he would have for a willing partner he was intent on seducing. But that wasn't the case; this time he had a captive and unwilling audience, which excited him even more. He was going to finally have his prize. He was going to take his lover the way he had wanted to take him from the beginning. He knew that Ezra was a virgin to men and hated to give up control, which was everything that turned him on. 

 

Dakota ran his hand down the bound man's body. When he reached his buttocks he dipped his finger inside the tight hole, exhilarated when Ezra tried to pull away from his touch. He was so excited that he couldn't wait any longer. His clothes were off and he was as hard as he had been in years, the scent of a virgin that he could take finally driving him over the edge. 

 

At first, he laid his body on top of Ezra's then the hunger took over. He didn't prepare Ezra, didn't even use the condom or KY he set on the bedside table. No, he took Ezra in the most insidious and base way a man could, after all he did have a job to do. At first, he had thought he would just take him and get it over with, but when Ezra made no indication that anything was happening, he lost all control taking Ezra over and over with as much pain as he could cause to get a reaction from the man below him. He was careful to not do too much damage where the blood would flow easily from the torn tissue, but after hours and no reaction, he no longer cared for he knew that no one would come for the reclusive man for days if not weeks. 

 

The only thing that stopped him was he had fallen for the undercover agent. The cool aloof exterior was there for everyone that was looking but the gentle caring side surfaced when he thought no one was looking. He had caught it and fallen for it. Now instead of killing Ezra, he would have to destroy him in mind and body.

 

Present Day - In Vin's Arms 

 

Vin Tanner was a simple man. Believed in God and a beer at the end of a day, but tonight he truly wished to kill Dakota Paske all over again and feeling the unchecked tears of his soul mate only made it worse. How many times could you kill a nightmare before it was understood the threat was gone? Right now Hell would be paradise compared to what his gambler went through with that man. Since he couldn't kill him again, he would have to put his actions into both deed and word, and one he was no good at. 

 

"Ezra," he tried raising his lover's chin but Ezra refused to look at him. "Please Ezra, look at me." 

 

When the gambler finally looked, he was overwhelmed by the pity he saw in those indigo blue depths and started to pull away from the Texan, growling, "I have no need of your pity, Mr. Tanner. I confessed my sin now you can leave with a clear conscience and never look back." 

 

Vin, stunned by the vehemence in his lover, had loosened his hold but only enough for Ezra to sit up before he came to his senses and switched positions. He was now lying on top of his lover with the full intent of making him understand that he was stuck with him until Hell froze over.

 

"Listen here, Ezra P. Standish. There is no pity towards you. It was towards the situation you were in. Let me just make this clear. You belong to me now. No if's, and's, or but's about it. You belong to me heart and soul. I know why you were... reluctant to start this relationship, but he is gone, ghost and all. It's just you and me from now on. No more ghost to come between us." His voice softened, as did his manner, as he watched his lover's face. "Ez, no matter what you told me he did to you, you couldn't drive me away from the only man I have ever loved." As he stared at his lover's disbelieving face, he couldn't help but cradle it as he whispered, "You don't understand, do you? I would fight for you. I would die for you. I would even lie for you. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you and you alone. If you look into your heart you'll find the truth of my words, but only if you want to see them will they appear to you. Do you believe, Ez?" His lover nodded his head. "Do you truly believe me or are you just agreeing?" 

 

Ezra choose his soul mate's language, letting his body speak for him as he reached up and pulled his sharpshooter to him, stopping a hair's breath away from the sweet sanctuary of his lover's mouth.

 

"Yes. I believe," was all he said before he took possession of Vin's mouth. Tongues dueled for dominance, as hands touched exposed skin, but seeking more from each other. Each strained to gain more from the other. Hands quickly rid each body of any clothing; nothing escaped the detailed attention of the lovers' hands. Bodies on fire, with no secrets between them, became explosive. Hands couldn't touch enough, mouths couldn't get enough of a taste and neither wanted to miss the other's reaction as they watched each other. 

 

The truth had been spoken. Ezra realized Vin still loved him, even after the revelation, and he held onto that security much like the blanket Vin used himself. It was good to know that, no matter what, Vin Tanner loved him and always would. 

 

Fini


End file.
